Flawless
by kaileena7
Summary: Rowena Ravenclaw has always been known as one of the brightest witches of her generation. Deep inside though, she is also insecure, unloved and seemingly bland. She is trapped.


_"What lies behind us and what lies in front of us are tiny matters in comparison to what lies within us."_ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A beautiful witch in her thirties stands in front of the mirror in her room and examines herself. Many men have told her that every little feature of her is flawless – from the small nose, the high cheekbones, to the full pouty lips. She considers all that meaningless. Physical features never held any merit for her – after all she is Rowena Ravenclaw, one of the best and brightest witches alive, known far and wide for her quick wit, and astonishing wisdom.

Lately, the witch has come to doubt that quality of her. She has done a handful of things that she bitterly regrets and the constant reminder of her biggest regret is currently sitting on the ring finger of her left hand. Outstretching her hand in front of herself, she examines the beautiful white diamond on top of the ring. She contemplates how ironic it is that Godric, who in fact knows absolutely nothing about her, chose so perfectly a stone that resembles her so well.

White diamond – the best and most desirable of them all. Perfect princess-cut, absolutely pure with no colour at all. This diamond, which the whole world classifies as so immaculate, is in reality terribly common. Just like her. Rowena – smartest witch of them all, one of the founders of Hogwarts School of Magic. But she does not love her future husband and she has no idea why she is marrying him. In order to keep appearances? Because he is one of the greatest wizards of the time?

And she knows for a fact that he doesn't love her too. She has seen the looks he gives that young witch teaching Charms at Hogwarts. She stares at her reflection in the mirror again. Has Godric ever loved her at all? He was certainly attracted by her looks, but she does not believe that he ever took genuine interest in her personality. She was just like that – keeping her thoughts to herself, always reading a book or researching some new charm or enchantment. It's a surprise that he paid her any attention at all – he was always the loud, boisterous type, the one that you would find in the middle of a crowd, talking about a new plan or adventure. How they got together is a mystery. Rowena believes that in the beginning she actually loved him – or maybe she allowed herself to be attracted by his mischievous smile and devil-may-care attitude. How foolish of her. She should have known better, after all she is Rowena Ravenclaw – wisest witch of her generation. But she is not only this. She is also 37 years old, unloving and unloved. She considers herself thrilling and interesting, but in fact she is completely bland. Just like the dreaded stone on her finger.

Now that she thinks about it, she is truly not that special – yes, she possesses the wit and the looks. And that is all. She really has only one thing going in her life – her precious books. Ha! Like books can build any character! She does not travel the world, she has never explored its wonders, she has never taken up any remotely exciting activity. And yet, here she is, ready to settle her life and marry a man whom she doesn't love and who doesn't love her.

It's not like she is pitying herself – she is just stating simple facts. Do you know what people answer when asked what they think of her? "Rowena is so smart.", "Rowena possesses wisdom beyond measure." "Rowena is so beautiful." "Rowena is a talented witch." Bland descriptions that could fit thousands of people. But they could never tell you something personal about her, something that truly distinguishes her as an individual from everyone else. Do you know why? Because there is no such thing about her. She is pretty Rowena, wisest witch of her generation and she is exactly like that diamond on her finger – flawless, brilliant, perfect and absolutely colourless.

She averts her eyes to the diamond on her finger yet again. Its name is Regina Glacis – Latin for Ice queen. Again, she mentally applauds Godric's excellent choice. For she truly is the Ice Queen – never letting anyone close to her, living in her castle of everlasting ice. There is no love in her and that's why there could never be any love for her.

The witch leaves her place in front of the mirror and goes to the windowsill. As usual, the view from it is breathtaking. Heavy snow has fallen and the light from the winter sun makes the grounds look like it is covered with diamonds. Cold brilliant diamonds.

Perhaps it is worth it, dedicating her whole life to this – to Hogwarts. She has put so much effort into the founding of this school. All four founders in fact. But now they are only three, aren't they? Salazar had left them after his grand falling out with Godric. He had insisted to keep muggleborns out of the school. On the other hand, Godric with his lion heart and the always nice Helga had been averse to his ideas. And where was Rowena's stand on this? She supported her fiancé's choice, though it was only because according to her calculations, the purebloods in Britain were not enough to support the continued existence of the wizarding population. It was a bit tragic, that. Even Salazar had made his choice based on his passionate beliefs for something. Dark and dangerous beliefs, but nonetheless passionate. She on the other hand had hidden behind logic and cold reasoning. It worked marvelously for her in the past.

Does it now? For the first time in her life, she feels trapped in the gilded cage that she has built for herself. The walls of Hogwarts that have always seemed so warm and welcoming look now like prison walls. Her fiancé, full of bravery and valour, the best wizard any witch could wish for, is in her eyes nothing more than a barbarian with lofty ideals and empty promises. Does she want this life?

And then, a marvelous event occurs. The witch realises that the key for her cage has been in her pocket all this time. She has a choice. She does not need to stay here, to live this life. Her work for the school is done and there is nothing left for her in this castle. Certainly not Godric. She can, no, she has to leave, just like Salazar before her, albeit for different reasons. Yes. _Leaving is good._ _Never coming back is better._

The witch takes her wand and starts packing her belongings. Maybe it's not too late for her to start another life, to find that happiness that has always eluded her. She has always considered herself a realist rather than an optimist but she is hopeful now. Or at least she is learning to be. She is striving to do the one thing that is not inherent to human nature – she is trying to change. Somewhere, very deep in her heart she instinctively knows that she is finally making the right decision, for she has strayed far too long on the wrong path.

And maybe someday, not today, somewhere, she will find that person that will be able to melt her heart, the kingdom of Regina Glacis. But until that day comes, she decides to still carry that dreaded ring of on her finger. For she needs it to remind her who she is – Rowena Ravenclaw, wisest witch of her generation. The white diamond among a sea of dust – brilliant, perfect and absolutely colourless.

**Author's note: So, this is a bit different from my usual fare, but a writer has to branch out, right? Anyways, this story was written for a challenge and the quote "_Leaving is good._ _Never coming back is better." _is from an episode of Doctor Who. I'd be very happy to hear your thoughts on the story. :)**_  
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